I’m a 31 year old woman who up until this year truly believed in happy endings.

I’m in love; certainly I am loved.

On March 31st, life as I knew it came to a screeching halt when I watched a team of doctors give in and tell me that our exquisite, precious perfect baby daughter Sadie had died before our eyes, external pacemaker failing to work, tiny heart not strong enough, life too goddamn cruel.

I’m still here, trying desperately to find out where I should go from this heartbreak.

I hurt every second. I’m angry. I still laugh. I’m more than a little lost. But still looking.

Somehow, amidst the pain, still believing.